A Human in Equestria Story
by I'm Only Kidding
Summary: Can Greg find his way home? Who cares, there's a party going on!
1. Those Damn Portals

**Author's Notes**

You can skip this part (the AN, not the chapter itself). It's just me trying to play it cool with my first fan fic. I have nothing interesting to say here, only one thing, really. If the character's name sounds familiar and you watch House... it's because I've been watching a lot of House and I'm lazy when it comes to names. Much easier to combine thenames of two people from a TV show. Also, today I learned that writing fan fiction for My Little Pony is embarrassing.

Basically I'd like feedback. How my writing style is, should I continue this, etc.

* * *

><p>Gregory Chase was not a brony. He'd watched My Little Pony a few times, he'd tried to like it. There was nothing wrong with the show itself, he just didn't want to watch all of the episodes. He sighed to himself. <em>Why do I even care that I don't like it? It's a show for little girls and I don't watch it. If anything that's good news!<em>

He didn't know why he was so concerned with enjoying it. In any other case, if he didn't like something he avoided it. Many minutes passed on like this and he finally shrugged and gave up. He exited his browser (making sure to erase the history first in case any of his friends should use it) and shut off his computer. Greg made his way to the restroom, stopping along the way to get a change of clothes from his dresser.

Finally in the bathroom, Greg took a look at himself in the mirror. Long blonde hair, tan skin, brown eyes that were practically overflowing with cynicism. He prided himself on his cynicism. If you expected the worst from people there was no chance they'd surprise you later on when they did something wrong. If they didn't do anything wrong you had a pleasant surprise, so it was a win-win scenario.

After a long shower, Greg got dressed and went to his bedroom. He let out a massive yawn and fell asleep on his uncomfortable mattress, just like he had for two years now, ever since he'd moved out of his parent's place. _Here I am, a 20-year-old man trying to like My Little Pony. Can it get any more pathetic?_

He continued this line of thought until he finally drifted to sleep.

* * *

><p>Twilight Sparkle was irritated. She'd been trying to master a spell to allow her to view other dimensions, but had yet to show any progress. The best she'd managed was on what had felt like the thousandth try. She had cast the spell on a mirror and managed to see a brief flash of light before the image faded. After trying to replicate (and improve upon) the success for hours, Twilight decided to call it a night.<p>

_I can just try it again in the morning. And the morning after that. And after that… well, I'm a night owl anyways… I suppose a few more tries couldn't hurt… _And with that thought Twilight went at it again, with a renewed fervor to get it right before she slept. After another hour of this, she knew it was time to throw in the towel for the time being.

And yet… she couldn't help but give it one more try…

* * *

><p>Greg's room was dark, save for a small amount of moonlight that crept in through the curtains. Suddenly the room was lit up with a bright flash on the right side of Greg's bed. Greg tossed a bit in his sleep, but didn't wake up as he was facing away from the flash and only saw a small amount of its light. A small lavender unicorn examined her new surroundings.<p>

_That didn't work right… it was just supposed to let me __see__ a new dimension… though I suppose this is the same thing. Just more personal. I may as well…_ her mind froze up as she saw a lumbering creature that was twice her size snoring loudly on the bed. _What IS that thing? It looks… bizarre. _Greg turned again in his sleep, turning to face Twilight, who promptly ducked and froze.

_I… I think I should leave… if this thing wakes up who knows what it will do!_ And with that, Twilight stepped into the small glowing hole her spell had left in the floor. Once back in the library at Ponyville, she breathed a sigh of relief and began to write down notes on what little she had been able to observe. _The creature had hands, and it was similar to a mostly hairless monkey…_

Twilight slept soundly afterwards, not knowing that the portal had remained in the creature's room…

* * *

><p>Greg woke up like he normally did: unwillingly. He was never eager to get out into the world. After spending a long time in bed (possibly hours; he loved not having to work on weekends), he finally decided that he had to stand up. He was hungry.<p>

Greg sat up in bed, rubbed his eyes and stepped out of his bed, only to get his foot caught on something. He looked down to see a glowing purple hole in his floor. After the obligatory not-so-witty thought (_Damn termites!_), he discovered he was being sucked in at an alarming pace. He was even more alarmed when his leg sank all the way into the small hole and his groin smacked against the floor. Suddenly, the portal widened, leaving behind no trace of Greg. Not even the sound from his remarkably effeminate scream remained.

* * *

><p>Twilight was already awake and studying, having shrugged of the late night. Spike, on the other hand, had been somewhat less willing to get out of bed. Twilight had decided it would be easier just to let him remain there for now. Suppressing a yawn, she turned the page of her book (A History of Life, the Universe and Everything else).<p>

"Page forty-two", she muttered to herself. The calm silence was suddenly disrupted by a loud crash behind her. She jumped, squealed and then turned around to see the creature from last night in front of her, currently sitting up and rubbing its head. She knew that it would be best to confront the creature immediately, but she decided to play it safe and hid behind the desk her book was on before speaking.

"Who are you?", Twilight demanded.

"Wha? Who said that? Was it you, desk? Are you talking to me?", Greg asked, still in a bit of a daze from having fallen through a dimension.

"N... no, the desk isn't talking..." Twilight said as she poked her head above it. "And you didn't answer my question. Who are you? What are you?"

"That's two questions. I'm... uh..." Greg had to think hard to find his name. "I'm Greg. And for what I am..." The answer to this was much easier to find. "I'm a human. Now who are you?"

"I'm Twilight Sparkle." Greg snorted and chuckled.

"What kind of name is that?"

"It's a perfectly normal name! It makes much more sense than 'Greg'."

"I'll have you know that Greg is a normal name. I think. In any case it's my name and I like it." He stood up, eliciting a gasp from the purple pony as she saw his full height. The two stared at each other for a moment, Twilight analyzing and taking mental notes and Greg wondering where he had seen her before. "I hate to pry, but... why am I here?", he said as he gestured to the walls of the tree.

"I think _you _should know that. You're the one that's here!"

"All I remember is falling through a hole in the floor. I also seem to remember some amount of pain, but I won't go into that right now. I'm also having... a bit of trouble remembering anything other than that." At this Greg paused. _I really don't remember anything... and I'm being stared down by a purple horse that's half my size and has a ridiculous name..._

Twilight simply stared, and finally put her hoof to her chin in thought. If the creature didn't remember anything, it wouldn't be especially useful for learning about its species.

"I think it's time you went back to... wherever you came from", she said. Greg nodded in agreement.

"Go ahead. Take me back."

"Alright. Just let me open up a portal." Twilight's horn began to glow as Greg looked on.

"How does it do that?"

"Do what?"

"How does your horn glow?"

"Magic."

"Magic?"

"Yes. You don't even remember magic?"

"It's just... where I'm from... I seem to recall there _was _no magic." Twilight filed it away for later. At least this... Greg was yielding some information. Finally, a small purple hole appeared and Twilight stepped aside.

"In you go." Greg stepped towards it, only to have it close up and disappear before he could touch it. "That wasn't supposed to happen..." Twilight mumbled.

"Maybe you didn't do it right?" Greg suggested.

"Hey! I did it _perfectly_! Maybe it's your fault. You might have magic where you came from. How else would you get here after the first portal closed?"

"Maybe it didn't close. That would explain me being here as well as me having magic would."

The two started bickering, but were interrupted by a yelp. Both looked at the source: a small purple dragon at the top of the stairs.

"Spike! Find me all the books on inter-dimensional travel that you can..."

Spike stared at the odd monkey in the library, and promptly started asking Twilight a rapid series of questions.


	2. Along Came a Pony

**Author's Note**

Couldn't sleep, so I went ahead and wrote another chapter. Now, I'm unclear on something, and if anybody who is more gifted in the intricacies of the grammatical arts could help me out I'd be very grateful. When writing a conversation... what's the comma situation? "Do they go inside of the quotation marks like this?," asked the author. "Or do they go outside of them like this?", asked the author.

* * *

><p>"Is this really necessary?," Greg asked as he strained against the rope that he was bound by.<p>

"It was the only way Spike would agree to come down here. Relax. It's not too tight, is it?"

"It's not tight _enough_, Twilight! Look at the size of that thing! If it gets loose it'll kill us all!," Spike shouted. He had tried to convince her to use something stronger than rope, but had been told that chains were too expensive and the rope was more convenient.

Spike muttered under his breath about paying for the chains himself as he went about collecting the books Twilight wanted. He made sure to walk as far from Greg as possible, not willing to risk the monster lashing out at him. When he had at last collected all the books on the list Twilight had made him write, he set them on a desk that was on the far side of the room from Greg.

"Careful, Twilight," Spike warned as she walked dangerously close to the weird creature.

"Would you relax, Spike? He's perfectly harmless. I think. He didn't try to attack me earlier, and he let me put the rope on him without any resistance."

"Will you quit talking about me like I'm not here?," Greg asked. Twilight gave him an apologetic look and Spike narrowed his eyes. _If looks could kill…_, Greg thought. Twilight took a book from the top of the pile (The Theory of Inter-Dimensional Portals, by C. Johnson) and sat with it, her horn glowing as she turned pages.

"Interesting stuff," Greg said as he stared at the book. Twilight and Spike both yelped at his sudden appearance behind them.

"How did you do that?," Spike shouted.

"Well, you were both so absorbed in the book. I thought it must be interesting and I didn't want to be left out, so I rolled over here. If you had wanted me to stay still you should have tied me to something other than myself."

Spike continued to give Greg a distrusting glare as he skimmed the page Twilight was on. "My bad. I guess it wasn't that interesting," he said as he plopped to the floor and rolled back across the room. Twilight looked at Spike, shrugged, and went back to her book.

"Can I be untied now?," Greg asked them.

"No!," Spike yelled.

Greg shrugged off his bonds.

"I was going to untie myself anyways, I just wanted to be polite and ask first." He proceeded to look around the room, and finding nothing particularly interesting, he decided to find a book to read. It beat talking to that angry little purple thing, and Twilight was too busy to talk. _Ooh… "Rocky's Day Out". That seems to be more my speed._

Greg yanked the foal's book out and sat against the wall.

"Are you serious?," Spike asked. Some things were so ridiculous even he had to ask about them with no fear.

"What? All the other books were really long and boring. Plus this one has pictures!," he exclaimed as he held the book up so Spike could see the image of a pony (presumably Rocky) climbing a cliff. "It's really good so far. I have to find out if Rocky makes it to the top of Mount Impervious!"

Spike's hand went to his face as he sighed. _What kind of adult enjoys something meant for children?, _he asked himself. As far as he was concerned it was weird.

"You know, there's this pony named Ditzy Doo that might like you…," he trailed off.

"I'd be delighted to meet her. I'm a sucker for kindred spirits."

"Would you two quiet down? I'm trying to study!," Twilight said.

Both Greg and Spike muttered "he started it", but Spike went in the kitchen to find something to eat as Greg continued reading. _This is a real page-turner._

After a long day spent researching, Twilight closed the last book in the pile. Unsurprisingly not a lot was known about inter-dimensional travel, and though Twilight had tried several more times she was unable to replicate the "success" with the portal that had brought Greg to Equestria. She looked up to see Spike and Greg eating and talking quietly.

"Well, Spike, make a new friend?," she asked, grinning.

"Hmm? Well, this thing… err, Greg, isn't such a bad guy. He can't remember anything about what happened before he got here, but he's alright. It'll be nice to have another guy around for a while," he answered.

"And Spike is okay, I guess. He's been telling me a lot about some Rari—," Greg was cut off as his face was tackled by a purple blur.

"THAT STAYS BETWEEN US, BRO. Nobody else knows. Got it?"

"Mmmphhh," Greg mumbled as he nodded, trying to speak past the dragon attached to his head. Twilight grinned again and yawned.

"Maybe we should hit the hay? It'll be another long day tomorrow, and I've gone through all the books. I can't do anything else for now," Twilight said. Spike looked overjoyed at the thought of an early night as he hopped off of Greg and ran upstairs to jump into his bed.

"Sooooo… where do I sleep?," Greg asked Twilight.

"Oh… well… I guess we could set you up with a sleeping bag, but you're a bit large for them."

"Eh, just give me a blanket and pillow. I'm fine on the floor." Twilight nodded and fetched them, then fetched a second blanket when they discovered how small they were compared to Greg. After an eventful day, Greg settled down to sleep. _I am inside a pony's house in another dimension. I am not a well man._

That was the last thing Greg thought as he drifted off.

He awoke the next morning to the sound of knocking on the door.

"Twilight, darling?," he heard a classy-sounding voice say, "Are you awake?"

Twilight rushed down the stairs and looked at Greg.

"Hide!," she said as Rarity began calling again.


	3. Not Quite a Double Rainbow

**Author's Notes:**

Well, I lied. I responded to a review and promised 3000 or 4000 words for this chapter, but instead you get 2500. I was close, though.

* * *

><p>Greg peeked through a crack in the desk he was currently hiding under. He saw Twilight nervously greet a white unicorn with dark purple hair. <em>Indigo? Mauve? Wait, I'm a man, damnit. I'm not debating colors with myself.<em>

"Uh, hi, Rarity! Uh, what do you need?," Twilight asked with a forced smile. Rarity thought it looked eerie, but a lady would never point such a thing out.

"I was hoping to have your help. I need a model for a new dress I've been working on, and Fluttershy was busy… plus I'm not too eager to have her do this again since that Photo Finish incident.," the white unicorn said. Meanwhile, behind the desk, a man who was still thinking of colors despite his best efforts (_Heliotrope? No, it's far too dark for that. It looks like Royal Purple. I'm going to stick with that.) _was struck with the thought of why ponies would need dresses.

Greg shrugged. _I guess if I wanted to feel pretty I'd wear a dress, too._ He snapped back to attention as the door closed, leaving himself and Spike alone in the house. He crawled out from underneath the desk and snuck over to the window, but when he looked out Rarity and Twilight were already out of sight. _Whatever. I may as well get something to eat._

Greg fixed himself a sandwich (filled with vegetables; ponies didn't eat meat despite being the master race) and sat down to eat it. _Wait… what am I supposed to do after this? How do I spend my day? Rocky already made it to the top of Mount Impervious and I only have a finite amount of sandwich ingredients here to work with…_

Greg failed to remember that there was an entire section filled with foal's books at the library, containing more than enough pictures to keep him interested.

* * *

><p>"Ouch!," Twilight squealed as a needle poked her.<p>

"Sorry, darling, I was a bit off aim!," apologized Rarity. _Element of generosity? You sure do give me a lot of free wounds…_ thought Twilight. She decided it would be better not to share that out loud. The process went on for a while (with many more apologies and assurances that "it's only a flesh wound!"), before Rarity finally stepped back and admired her work.

"Thank you, Twilight! If I had known you were this good as a model I would have asked you ages ago!"

"Oh, uh… thanks," Twilight said. _DEAR CELESTIA IN CANTERLOT, WHAT HAVE I DONE? DON'T EVER CALL ME BACK HERE!_ At length, Rarity took the dress off of Twilight using magic, thanked her once again and sent her on her way.

* * *

><p>Greg had finally discovered that there were books with no pictures that could hold his attention. He was currently reading about Equestrian history (he happened to overlook another book on the subject that had a few drawings), and decided that this Nightmare Moon sounded menacing. <em>Wouldn't want to meet HER, <em>Greg thought.

As he heard the sound of a doorknob turning (he still had no clue how creatures with hooves could grasp the handle), he dove beneath the desk once more. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Twilight Sparkle step into the library, and once she closed the door he abandoned his hiding place.

"Have a nice time?," he asked her. The small unicorn gave him an icy glare before responding.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said. The wounds were small, but they were numerous. Greg shrugged. "Hey, are you reading an actual book?," she asked him in amazement. Spike had told her all about what Greg had read the previous day.

"Of course I am. I'm not stupid, just… easily distracted. And Equestria seems like an interesting place. You've got a ruler whose first thought after trying diplomacy is 'send her to the moon!', and you've got the standard 'embittered rulers' scenario. And this Nightmare Moon sounds frightening.," he said quickly. Twilight smirked upon hearing the last part.

"She was."

"You met her?"

"And defeated her, with a little help from my friends," she said. Greg gaped. A tiny little pony defeating… well, a bigger pony?

"So you and your friends killed her?"

"What? No! We didn't kill anypony! We just showed her the magic of friendship and she became her old self again! Then Princess Celestia accepted her back as the ruler of night."

"So… the ruler of Equestria instantly accepted Nightmare Moon back? No trial period to see if she was still evil, not even a quick yes or no question session?," Greg asked. _Not to mention how fantastically feminine that whole thing sounded. But she's a girl, so I guess it's okay for her to be feminine._

"Well… I… the magic of friendship changes people?," Twilight tried weakly. Greg only stared. "Sooo… do you want to try to go back home again?"

"Yes!," exclaimed Greg.

After a few hours of trying, the portal still failed to stay long enough to be touched. Even when Twilight had Greg stand right next to the mirror she cast it on it disappeared before he could jump through.

"I think you're doing it wrong again," Greg said helpfully. Another glare from the little pony. Spike had woken up after the first hour of portal making, and was now snickering at all of Twilight's failed attempts.

"I think that's enough for today," she said.

"Oh, good, I could use some sleep," Spike said, yawning. He got two stares of disbelief, one from a human and one from a pony. "What? I've had a long day," he told them.

"You've been awake for… three hours," Greg said.

"And I never said it was time to end the day, I said it was time to stop trying to make a portal," the unicorn told him. "We still have some research to do, and you still have to send a certain letter."

"Letter?," Greg asked. "Is it about me?"

"Well, part of it will be," Twilight answered. Spike only sighed. As the two set about finding and reading books, Greg decided to have a look around the house. He'd only been in the library part, and discovered a bedroom and bathroom, along with a balcony. _Maybe if I'm really careful I can just sneak out for a bit of air…_

As he made his way out, he looked around carefully, making certain he wouldn't be seen. The library was nice, but if he stayed surrounded by books for too long he knew he'd go insane. _The books would make me crazy, as opposed to being in another dimension that has a planet ruled by ponies. Also, whenever I get home, I have a great movie idea…_

Greg's thoughts were cut off as he heard a call of "look out below!" and was plowed into by a flash of blue.

"Aggh!," was all he could manage as his stomach was hit by something the size of a pony that was very, very fast. He and the blur that he had since discovered to be a pony were propelled into the house by the force of the hit, and Greg was actually somewhat relieved when he hit the far wall. He didn't like flying, even if it was temporary.

"Sorry about tha… what the hay are you?," the somewhat raspy voice demanded.

"I'm… uh, I'm Greg…," he tried, hoping it might be enough to satisfy the pony with rainbow colored hair.

"What's a Greg?," Rainbow Dash demanded as she hovered, stopping at eye level to glare.

"No, that's my name. I'm a human, and you are…?"

"I don't have to tell you anything! I'm the one asking the questions!"

Twilight heard a crash and hurried up the stairs. When she saw Rainbow Dash she froze, and decided it would be best to tell her everything she knew.

"Rainbow Dash!," Twilight called.

"Oh, Twilight, good thing you're here! I caught this monster sneaking into your house!"

"I'm not a monster! And it _is_ a good thing you're here, Twilight, because this… thing just shattered my ribcage! I think."

Spike hurried upstairs to see what the commotion was about. _This doesn't look good,_ he thought.

Rainbow Dash continued glaring at Greg, who decided to try a smile. He decided it would be best not to expose his teeth, not for fear of scaring the blue pegasus flying in front of him, but for fear of a hoof knocking them free. Dash's glare only intensified. Greg decided to try a different approach, as Twilight gathered her thoughts.

"You have lovely eyes," he said. Upon realizing that the compliment had done little to weaken the glare, he decided to just answer her questions.

"Who are you!"

"I told you, I'm Greg. I also told you what I am, which is a human. Then I lied about liking your eyes."

"And what's wrong with my eyes, exactly?"

"Pinkish eyes just aren't that great. But they're yours, so wear them with pride!"

"How would you like a blackish eye?"

"Well, it wouldn't really suit you. Not colorful enough to go with the rest of your… self, and I just realized that you were talking about my eyes and putting a hoof into one of them TWILIGHT HELP," he said, all in one breath.

Twilight finally decided to start explaining, and cut off Rainbow Dash's next question before she could speak it.

"So, Dash, this is Greg…," she started weakly.

"He told me that. Unless he was lying! What if he's a spy? He looks like a monster from Everfree!"

"I'm not a monster, I'm just misunderstood!," Greg said.

"Enough! He isn't a monster, he's a creature from another dimension. You see, it happened like this…"

After the explanation, Twilight glanced at Spike, to find he had fallen asleep on the floor. _Typical._ Rainbow Dash just stared back and forth between Twilight and Greg.

"If he's from another dimension, he could still be a monster…," she started.

"He isn't. He hasn't made any aggressive motions so far, not even towards you, which is surprising."

"Well… I still don't trust you!," the pegasus said, once again flying to eye level.

"That's alright. I still don't trust you. But I can't be sure that you aren't lying, since I can't trust you. I think that underneath that angry, distrustful face you find me to be a very nice person."

"I do not! I don't lie!," Dash said as Twilight snorted in amusement. "What? When have I ever lied? Don't answer that!"

This was followed by a long silence as Rainbow Dash and Greg sized each other up one last time. _I could take her, _Greg thought. _I could take him, _Dash thought at the same time. Finally, Rainbow Dash extended a hoof. Greg hoped that pony greetings were the same as human greetings, and extended his hand to shake it. He yelped as he felt a shock.

Rainbow Dash started laughing so much that she fell out of the air, and turned her hoof towards Greg to expose a small device on it. _Joybuzzer. Why would they call it something so ironic?_ It was finally Greg's turn to glare, though his hair got into his eyes and cut it off early. _Note to self: cut hair for a better glare._

Greg finally realized something, and decided to announce it to the world.

"Rainbow Dash, you're immature and rude. I like that." Rainbow Dash looked up at him, and flashed a quick grin before turning to Twilight.

"So you're going to let him stay here? I'll go get the others and have them come over!"

"What?," shouted Twilight and Greg in unison. Rainbow Dash started to fly out, but Greg lunged for her tail to stop her.

"You can't do that! If you reacted like that how will… however many other ponies you tell?"

"They would all have different reactions. AJ would be… like Rainbow Dash but more polite, Fluttershy would hide, Pinkie Pie would try to throw you a party, and Rarity would… probably faint, but try to dress you up once she snapped out of it," Twilight said.

"Wonderful. So one is a repeat of _her_," he said as he gave Dash a pointed look, "one would faint, one would be scared of me and one would… actually that Pink one didn't sound half bad."

"Pinkie," Twilight corrected him.

"Let go of my tail!," Rainbow Dash shouted.

"Hmm? Oh, right. Sorry." As he let go of her tail, she flew to the far side of the room and resumed her earlier glaring. "I was kind of hoping to just have a quiet stay here and get home as soon as possible. You know, without any kind of big interrogation thing with… how many ponies would there be?"

"Six, if you count Rainbow Dash and myself," Twilight told him.

"Right. Six. That's too many for my liking. I've already had two of you convinced I was a monster before I even did or said anything. I also got RAMMED IN THE STOMACH by one of you and I still haven't gotten an apology, but that's a bit unrelated." At this Rainbow Dash gave him another smirk.

"Just be lucky I wasn't going that fast," She told him.

"That fast? How fast were you going when you hit me? Was that slow? It didn't feel slow. It felt fast."

"Well, I'm the fastest pony in all of Equestria."

"And the most boastful," Twilight muttered. Spike chuckled.

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to be meeting all of them. I mean, how much longer could I have to stay here?"

"As long as it takes her to get the portal spell right, and you know how well that's gone so far," Spike told Greg.

"Oh. Right." Greg paused and thought. "So I'm thinking I should go ahead and meet them. You know, because I think I might be here for a while."

"Hey!," Twilight shouted as he looked her way. "I've been doing the spell right, it's probably just your… your negativity that's closing the portals!"

"Can negativity even mess with magic?," Rainbow Dash asked her.

"Well… no… but he still needs to look on the bright side."

"Bright side? I'm stuck in another dimension with one pony who brought me here and hasn't quite figured out how to send me back, and another who likes to hit people at full… half… whatever speed. Oh, and Spike, who for a _baby_ dragon seems to know an awful lot about relationships, and he's obsessed with this Ra-!," Greg was cut off as a purple blur shot through the air once again, landing on his face.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO MENTION IT!," Spike shouted.

"Mmmf! Mmffff!," Greg shouted (either in apology or complaining about the sudden lack of oxygen). Spike clung to him for a while longer, finally hopping off and giving him a look that seemed to say "talk about that ever again and you _will _die sooner than expected".

"So… I'll go get the others, then…," Rainbow Dash said as she flew out the balcony doors.


	4. A Party!

**Author's Notes:**

Not much to say. About 2,000 words this time around. I think I need a regular update schedule so I can make longer chapters, as opposed to updating three times on the first day to get a total of 5,700 words.

* * *

><p>Rainbow Dash flew slower than she usually would. She still wasn't a big fan of Greg, but even she wasn't exactly eager for what would be coming up. She knew it would be unpleasant. After a few minutes of flying, she arrived at her first destination: Sweet Apple Acres. She swooped down and had to make a few passes over the apple trees before finding an orange earth pony pulling a cart filled with apples.<p>

"Applejack!," she shouted. The pony looked up, squinting to try and see past the glare of the afternoon sun.

"Rainbow Dash? What're y'all doin' here?"

"You need to head over to Twilight's place quick! It's something big!," she said. With that she turned and flew in the direction of Fluttershy's cottage. Rainbow Dash liked to keep things short and to the point. _This is going to be an interesting day,_ she thought as she ignored the now-distant calls of Applejack. _Well, I'll just get this over with_, she thought as she sped up.

* * *

><p>"So we just wait for Rainbow Dash to invite everybody over for a nice meet and greet?", Greg asked Twilight.<p>

"Pretty much. I think this will go well!," the pony responded. Spike and Greg both snorted.

"Yeah, because every first encounter I've had so far has gone _delightfully_."

"Don't be so negative. Look on the bright side: you get to make lots of new friends!"

"I'm not being negative. I'm positive that something terrible will happen. I'll take a hoof to the face, or give one of them a fatal heart attack, or… something else that's really bad and would make for an awkward story."

Greg hopped off of the desk he had been sitting on and went into the kitchen. "Mind if I make something to eat?"

"No, go ahead."

"Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

"What about you, Spike?"

"I could always go for a ruby sandwich," the baby dragon said as he followed Greg. Twilight was left in peace for a while, and decided to use the time to prepare a speech to give her friends before they arrived. _This is going to go great, I can just tell!_

* * *

><p>Rainbow Dash was finally at her last goal before heading back to Twilight's: Pinkie Pie's house. Dash loved the pony like she did all of her friends, but she still found her annoying sometimes. <em>She'll probably do the best with that thing, though. Even if she will be bouncing off the walls… literally.<em>

Rainbow Dash landed on Pinkie Pie's doorstep and hesitantly knocked. The door was flung open instantly.

"Oh, hi, Rainbow Dash! Want some cupcakes? Or were you here for something else? Do you need any candy? I don't really have any right now. Well, that was a lie, I actually do have some but it's for me so I don't really want to give it away but if it's an emergency like somebody with type one diabetes who can't find their insulin shot but needs the sugar and—mmf!," Pinkie said (surprisingly all in one breath) as a hoof suddenly appeared in her mouth.

"I don't need anything. You just have to get to Twilight's house quick, got it?" The pink pony nodded. With a pop, the hoof was withdrawn from her mouth, and Pinkie happily bounced away towards the library. _Well, I should probably be heading back, too, _thought Dash. And at last all of the Elements of Harmony that had yet to meet Greg were on their way.

* * *

><p>"So how do I look? Eerie? Nice? Too nice to try to attack?", Greg asked Twilight nervously.<p>

"I'm sure everything will be alright. Just relax! What could possibly go wrong?"

"Did you already forget all of the options I listed earlier? The heart attack and all?"

"Nothing like that will happen. I promise!" And then, as though it were timed, the door burst open to admit five ponies, Rainbow Dash in the lead. Greg stuck his hands in his pocket, fists clenched.

"Oh, girls! Thanks for coming on such short notice, I prepared a speech for you a-," but Twilight was cut off by a chorus of variations of "What is that?"

Rainbow Dash quietly closed the door.

"Well, this is Greg. You see, funny story, heheh… he's a human, and he's from another dimension. I accidentally brought him here when I-," but she was cut off once more.

"He's a what? From another dimension? Send him back! Y'all didn't need ta call us out here to know that!," shouted Applejack. Greg nervously shuffled his feet. _I knew this would happen. Though the lack of violence is nice._

"About that… I kind of can't. I know how, and I've done the spell right a lot, but the portal disappears right before he can touch it…" Greg tilted his head as he heard a bizarre sound of knocking. He scanned the room until he found the source: a set of yellow legs rattling against each other behind all of the other ponies. He raised an eyebrow but decided it would be best not to ask.

"So, uh… hi…," Greg tried awkwardly. The ponies seemed surprised he could speak (with the exception of the set of knocking knees. He wasn't good at judging emotion by looking at legs.) The white unicorn from earlier seemed about to faint. _Well, this is actually going how I thought it would for the most part._

"Hi! So you're Greg? That's a funny name! I'm Pinkie Pie! We should throw you a welcome party! Ooh, do you like parties? I bet you do! You seem like a fun… whatever you are!," squealed a pink pony as she proceeded to (literally) bounce off the walls, followed by leaping directly in front of Greg to get a good look at him. "Where's your fur? And hooves?"

"Pinkie Pie! Get away from that… that thing, before it attacks!," yelled Rarity. She felt as though she was about to faint, but tried to stay conscious in case the creature got aggressive. Twilight sighed. _I hate being wrong._

"Well, uh, everyone, that was fun, but I really think I should tell you how this all happened…," she said. Twilight cleared her throat and began to speak, as Rainbow Dash looked on. She was bored. She'd heard this before.

"So… ya can't send him back?", asked Applejack.

"Well, no. But he's not as bad as you all think! He's nice once you get to know him… and once you stop thinking he's a monster," Twilight said. "Just ask Spike!"

"Yeah, ask the dragon that had to have me tied up before he'd get within twenty feet of me. I thought they could breathe _fire_. I know I can't be that intimidating," Greg said from his seat on the rail of the stairs. Pinkie Pie was sitting next to him, still the only one of the latest group to have no fear of him. Rainbow Dash hovered nearby.

"Hey! You're, like, eight times my size! It's not my fault I'm careful."

"My clothing is flammable. It would have been easy to defend yourself."

"I… I don't like to kill."

"Plus he's only a baby dragon. His fire only sends letters and toasts marshmallows right now," Twilight said.

"Why would you tell him that?"

"It's okay, Spike. I don't think you're any less of a dragon for having drastically underpowered fire," Greg told him. He almost managed to sound sincere. Unfortunately, he was just doubtable enough for Spike to give him a glare. _What is it with these people… er, dragons and ponies… and glaring?_

"Well… I, for one, am willing to give him a chance," Rarity said. Greg noticed that she slowly edged away before saying this.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," he said. He knew there was no point in asking about why she moved further from him before saying that. Greg didn't want to offend any of them. Rarity simply nodded.

"Ah guess ah can play nice with ya. Just don't try anything funny, ya hear?" Applejack said.

"I was fine with you from the start!," Pinkie said as she grinned at him. He actually couldn't tell if she was grinning at him specifically; she had been smiling since she walked in the door. "What about you, Fluttershy?"

"Who?", asked Greg. "Oh! You mean the one hiding behind Applejack and Rarity?"

"Yeah! That's her!"

Applejack and Rarity reluctantly stepped aside, revealing a very frightened yellow pony.

"Eep!," she squealed, but finding nowhere to hide she decided to speak. "I… I, uh, I'm okay with him… if he's not mean or anything…"

"What'd she say?", Greg asked.

"She said she's fine with ya, too," Applejack told him.

"I think I just solved the mystery of her name." Greg said that completely without sarcasm, and was in fact feeling rather proud of himself. Applejack rolled her eyes at him as Pinkie's face contorted to make it seem as if she had only just realized what the "shy" part of Fluttershy's name signified. In all honesty, she hadn't ever noticed.

"Well, that went okay! We're all friends now?", Twilight asked hopefully. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were the only ones to nod.

"Well… no offense, sugarcube, but ah still don't trust him…," Applejack said.

"And I am afraid I don't fully trust him either," Rarity told them.

"Seriously, why do you guys talk about me like I'm not here? And my name is Greg. And… where's Fluttershy?" At this, everyone in the room turned to see the door open. "Well, I think I've got my answer on how she feels, too."

"Actually, she's like that most of the time," Twilight told him.

"That's reassuring. But I doubt she's like that with whoever she considers a friend, because it would be awfully hard to even _become_ friends if she always snuck away like that."

"Well… yeah, you're right."

"So, what time is good for the party?", Pinkie asked, oblivious to the odd looks she received from everyone.

* * *

><p>Later, once everyone but Spike, Twilight and Greg had left, they all had dinner together (salad for Twilight and Greg, while Spike ate a bowl of assorted gems).<p>

"So, that went like I thought it would. Though that Pinkie Pie seemed alright, and Rainbow Dash finally acknowledged that she doesn't mind me. Other than that I met a pony with an accent who probably wanted to kick me, a pony that was too shy to say more than one sentence before sneaking away, and a pony that seemed like she would pass out at any moment. I didn't even think I could notice a pony get pale past the fur, especially white fur."

"You summed it up pretty well," Spike said as he chewed on a diamond. "But you forgot to mention how elegant Rarity was, even under pressure!" When Twilight smiled at him knowingly, he blushed and sunk down into his seat.

"Spike, I think everyone already knows what you told me," Greg said. Twilight nodded. Spike sank further.

"So what do I do now? Do we go along with that party idea of Pinkie's? Do we keep me here until a portal can be opened?", Greg asked Twilight.

"Well… I don't really know. A party would be a great way to let everypony get to know you, but if it went anything like the meeting today did it would take hours before they would settle down. We could keep trying the portals every night until we get it right, and that's probably the safest way to do this." Greg mulled over what Twilight had said for a while.

_Well, one way I get to cause a bit of a panic, and the other way I get to stay in a library all day with no chance of leaving because I'd frighten everybody who saw me. What a delightful thought._ Greg finally decided what he needed to do.

"Let Pinkie Pie know that I'm free for the party any time."


	5. The Actual Party Part!

**Author's Notes:**

Very short this time. My internet was out for a couple of days and I intended to make a large chapter, but every idea I got didn't seem right. Finally I decided I'd just describe the party, but I did it decidedly briefly. I just wanted to get this part over with, because I knew there wasn't a whole lot I'd be able to do with it. Now I should be able to go ahead and write a longer, better chapter six.

* * *

><p>"So, how do I look?", Greg asked Twilight as he looked in the mirror. He was wearing a new set of clothes, courtesy of Rarity (Greg had to agree to do some manual labor around the Carousel Boutique to get them). Rarity had said they were "semi-formal", which Greg took to mean "a dark blue shirt with matching pants".<p>

"You look fine," the small purple unicorn answered. Greg looked down at her.

"Do you mean 'fine' or '_fine_'?" As he said the second "fine", he smirked and raised one eyebrow.

"I mean fine. As in alright."

"Oh. Well, it would never have worked out between us anyways." This earned Greg his hundredth glare from Twilight. _I guess ponies have no sense of humor_, he thought.

"Come on, we have to get going. I want to get there early so we can go over the plan to introduce you to everypony," Twilight said as she headed for the door. Greg followed.

"So what _is_ the plan, anyways? And where is Spike?"

"I don't think I ever told you the plan, but I will when we're at Pinkie's place. And Spike is with Pinkie, she needed some help getting ready."

"Okay, then. How bad could this possibly be?" Greg almost immediately felt like he shouldn't have asked that.

"Okay, everypony, I threw this party to welcome a new pony… well, a new… thing… to town! His name is Greg and he's really nice! But he also looks kind of scary at first, but you get used to it, just don't scream or run away because that would be rude! And-," Pinkie was yanked away by Twilight.

"I think Pinkie actually got that down pretty well. He looks weird, his name is Greg, and please don't be afraid of him."

"Is that my cue?", Greg asked Rarity.

"I suppose it's as good as any introduction. Go ahead and introduce yourself to everypony! And be sure you tell them that I, Rarity, made your clothes for tonight!" Greg nodded at the white pony and walked into the main room where all of the ponies in Ponyville were gathered (save Rarity, who stayed behind, still obsessively checking herself in the mirror).

"Uh… hi," Greg said weakly with a wave.

"IT'S A MONSTER!," screamed an orange pony with a green mane. This was followed by several similar screams by other ponies. The room quickly erupted into chaos, with about half of the ponies present running straight for the door. Greg turned to Rarity, who had finally come out of the back room and was currently staring at the crowd in shock.

"I think that went well," Greg told her.

"So now I work here as the mail pony, and it's really great 'cuz everypony here is really nice. Plus there's Sugarcube Corner, and they have the best muffins _ever!_," enthused a grey pegasus who had come up to Greg once Twilight and the others had calmed everyone down. Greg had liked Ditzy Doo the second he saw her. She did occasionally get a bit wall-eyed, but Greg didn't mind.

Ditzy had been telling Greg everything about her, from how she was born and raised in west Fillydelphia, to how she had been sent to Ponyville because her mother had gotten scared after she became a target for bullying, and finally to how she had become the mail pony. Greg recalled that Spike had said he would like Ditzy, and he couldn't agree with him more.

"So where do you live now?", Greg asked.

"Well, I just moved out of my aunt and uncle's cloud. Now I've got my own, it's just east of town. Head straight past Twilight's tree and keep going, then look up. You can't miss it!"

Just then, the pony that had started all the screaming tried to skirt past them unnoticed.

"Oh, hey, Carrot Top! Come meet Greg!," Ditzy said. Carrot Top jumped in fright, but slowly walked towards them, stopping five feet away from Greg.

"Uh… hi…," she said as she looked for escape routes.

"Hello. I think we met earlier. You were the one screaming in terror, right?", Greg asked her with a grin.

"Y-yes, that was me…" Greg groaned inwardly. _This is awkward._ Ditzy just smiled. _I'm so good at pairing people up! I just know who'll get along, I guess, _she thought as she flew towards a table filled with muffins.

After a few more awkward moments had passed, Greg told Carrot Top that she didn't have to stay if she didn't want to. She gratefully backed away and melted into the crowd. Greg sighed. _On the up side, about half of the ponies here don't seem to be afraid of me._ Just then a small yellow pony with a red mane and bow trotted up.

"Hi! Ahm Apple Bloom!," she said.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Greg," he answered. He noticed Applejack glaring at him from across the room. "I recognize that accent. Are you related to Applejack?", he asked as he met Applejack's gaze.

"Yep! Ahm her sister!"

"Are you talking to me because she told you not to?"

"What? How'd you know that?"

"Well, she's giving me a look that could melt through stone." At this Apple Bloom laughed.

"She worries a lot, but I can take care ah mahself!"

"I believe you. You should probably go back to her before she kicks me in the face, though." Greg had noticed that Applejack was slowly moving towards him, her hat drifting in and out of view as she weaved through the crowd. "Quickly, please. She's getting closer."

Apple Bloom laughed again and ran off. Greg was relieved to see the hat turn to follow her. _Better she gets beaten than me._ Greg decided it was about time to get something to eat. He was starving and he had heard marvelous tales about Pinkie's cooking. He headed to the muffins; he had it on good authority that they would be delicious.

"Well, thanks for the party, Pinkie," Greg said as he and the others were headed out. _It's just too bad that I'm twice as big as any of the ponies here. Well, all but that Big Macintosh fellow…_ Greg recalled how the large red stallion had walked up to him and said "hi", then turned and walked away. Greg liked him, he got to the point and didn't want to waste any time on pleasantries.

Greg recounted the ponies he had met. Ditzy stood out among them as the one that he had really hit it off with, followed by Apple Bloom (but he didn't think Applejack would appreciate him pursuing that friendship). There was Carrot Top, Lyra, Ace, Bonbon, and a few others whose names he could only recall upon thinking very hard. _Well, if I'd gotten along with them that well I'd have remembered._

Greg suddenly felt a sharp pain and began picking himself up off the ground. Twilight laughed at him.

"Watch where you're going next time and you won't bump into a tree," she suggested.

"I'll try, but this thing just popped out of nowhere. Your house is out to get me." Ordinarily Greg might have been angry at her for laughing, but he was still in a good mood. Spike was looking away from him, trying to hide his laughter. Twilight unlocked the door and they all stepped inside.

"So, what now?", Greg asked.

"I could try making the portal again," Twilight said. Greg nodded.

After several more failed attempts, Twilight groaned.

"This isn't working," she said. Greg stared at her.

"You don't say?"

Spike had gone off to sleep already. Greg had to admire his ability to sleep even when he wasn't that tired. Twilight tried once more as Greg stared out the window.

"Uh… Greg?", she asked. He turned to her, noticing the open portal.

"How long has that been open?"

"About twenty seconds." Greg felt a rush. He knew he _should_ head home, but he had just met Ditzy, and he liked the other ponies, even if a lot of them didn't like him. He shrugged inwardly and headed towards the swirling purple circle. He reached his hand towards it, and was startled when it stayed open. He felt himself being pulled in.

"Twilight, it's working!," he shouted, then added in a sorrowful voice, "goodbye…"

"Goodbye, Greg!," Twilight shouted over the roaring sound the portal had begun to make. She felt herself start tearing up. _I just met him a few days ago! This is ridiculous!_, she thought, but it didn't change the way she was feeling.

Finally, Greg was gone.

Twilight Sparkle awoke the next morning to a loud "whoosh", then felt weight drop on her suddenly.

"It didn't work," Greg told her.

"Greg? How are you here? What…"

"Well, you see, I went through the portal, but it just led me to a dark room _full _of portals, and I kept on trying them but they all led back into the room. Finally I tried the last one and it dropped me here. On top of you," he said as he jumped off of her. Twilight groaned, but smiled while she did it.

"All of that work for nothing," she said. She tried to sound irritated, but it was too hard. She was actually _happy_ that her portal had failed for once. Greg smiled back at her, and Spike snored loudly.


End file.
